Hunting at Ted Nugent's Sunrize Acres in Michigan - Nick Huffman

Even if you don't give a rat's flying ball sack about hunting, this story is still worth the read.

Well, the trip finally came.  I went with my wife and my good friends, Logan Anderson, and the Southland's radio Icon Mike Tomano up to Ted Nugent's Sunrize Acres right outside of Jackson, Michigan.  It was a pick 'em hunt, meaning we could kill wild boars, rams, goats, sheep, whatever.  I wanted the boar.  After a tire blowout in the middle of buttfuck, Indiana that set us back about four hours, we got to Ted's ranch late.

  I know what you're thinking.  You pansy ass.  Why is your truck on a flatbed?  It's a fucking tire!  I wish it were that simple.  On the Escalades, Cadillac had to be dicks and put a secondary latch under the vehicle in which you can only unlock it with the provided jack and tire iron.  The spare won't drop unless you actually use their stuff.  Well, mine is missing key pieces.  So, it took $430 and four hours to get back on the road.


The first night of hunting was short.  I spent about two hours in a tree stand and didn't see anything.

Logan and I stayed up all night and had a fire because the sleeping situation wasn't great. 

The next morning came early, much like XL watching Roseanne..

On the way to our hunting spot, I saw a herd of buffalo.

  I spent two or three hours in a ground blind and didn't see anything but a bunch of deer and a chipmunk.

After a few hours of seeing nothing, we decided to stomp the wild boars out of a fence line.  For those of you who've never been wild boar hunting or don't know much about wild boars, they are mean and nasty.  Given the chance, they'll kill you first, so stomping them out of a fence line isn't very safe.  There were two in the fence line.  A brown one with a razorback, and a black one.  At one point, we were squared off about ten feet from each other, but I prefer things to be a little more fair.

I loaded one bullet into my .243 rifle.  I had a few more in my shirt pocket, but here's the deal.  Sometimes, it can take 4-5 shots to kill these tough bastards.  Since I was on foot and he was close(about 20 yards at the time), I figured I'd make it a little more fair. . . and fun.  If my first shot didn't kill him, he'd be pissed and try to attack me, at which point, I had an empty weapon.  I'd have to eject the shell casing, reload, aim, and shoot, all before he attacked me.  NOW, THIS SOUNDS LIKE FUN!

To my disappointment, when I fired, it was literally the most perfect shot I could have pulled.  He didn't take one step.  He fell flat on his stomach and was done breathing within 5 seconds, but the blood sprayed out of him like a statue fountain guy.

He was right at the 200 lb mark.  With his razorback and color, everyone there said that I should mount it.

I guess they should have been more specific.