King Of My Castle- Chad Errio

When my wife & I were dating, she loved MY house… When we got married, I added a huge addition that I designed for the family so it would become OUR house... As I walk around this home now, 10 years later, I have realized it has somehow become HER house. 

And I have no idea how it happened. If you took everything out of this house that my wife picked out, There would be nothing here but a leather chair, my Playstation, and a fully stocked bar…. And I just now realized that all these  things are kept in the same room of the house. The other 2000 square feet belongs to her & the kids.

I always thought if this family was a corporation, My house would be the office where I would be President, CEO, The Big Boss Man! And I am….On paper…..  Because apparently my wife has controlling stock…. Anytime the kids say “Dad, can I…?” I have to run it by the board of directors first. And unfortunately, my wife not only controls every vote, she's also in charge of accounting & purchasing….. I’d complain to Human Resources, but she took over that position too….And I’m  already in hot water because of all the sexual harassment charges that she’s filled against me.
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You could ask “Why don’t you get a second job?”… But I’m pretty sure that’s a fireable offense…… You may wonder, “If its that bad, why don’t you quit?”… But the simple truth is, I love my Boss…. She occasionally puts me in a ‘position’ I enjoy and gives me a nice ‘raise’ …. Besides, if she ever did fire me, I’d lose my nice office, all my benefits and half my pension.

I Hate The St. Louis Cardinals -Chad Errio

Me hating the Cardinals has nothing to do with being a Cubs fan. I hate everything about St Louis, except Budweiser....... 

Cub fan's prayer

Our The-sus in the Clubhouse
Hollow by thy name
May a World Series come
With the trades you've done
In Wrigley as it has in Fenway
... Give us this season our daily wins
Forgive us our bad contracts
as we trade them to the Yankees
Lead us not into the division cellar
and deliver us from the curse!

AMEN!

During the NFL season I say fuck Wisconsin

Dear President Obama;

Since Wisconsin turned full on red state in the midterms and is suing to have your healthcare planned repealed; can we pretty please NUKE THEM OFF THE FACE OF THE FUCKING PLANET!!! It will help you with your image as a pussy (yeah dude, you kind of come off as a pussy right now) and you'd definitely win Michigan & Minnesota for destroying the home of the Packers and all those super-lactose laden fucktards that live there. You'd also save the MLB because you'd stop the Brewers from boring the shit out of America in the World Series and you'd likely kill Bud Selig too! All-in-all it's a win-win scenaio. I guarantee no republican will give you shit after that! Thanks for your time, God bless America!

Sincerely;
A fellow Bears fan.

Addiction - Jon David

I have been struggling with an addiction. I am helpless against it's grip on my life. I don't know where to go from here but I have to get over this to move on with my life.

Men's Room Etiquette- Chad Errio

I don't mean to sound crazy, but it's time someone laid out the ground
rules for the Men's Room. Guys know what I'm talking about, and
ladies, here's a glimpse of what runs through our tiny little heads.

A message for Match.com & Chemistry.com users - XL

 By Xavier Lamont 

Dear online dating users:

      1st I'm sorry that eHarmony rejected you. Why else would you use Match or Chemistry?
2nd if you're an attractive woman using these sites understand why a man may be suspicious. No one likes surprises & chances of you being: a stage 5 clinger, a baby &/or a marriage crazy psycho, a stalker, or even a man posing as a woman is a real possibility. If you are asked for more proof...err pics it's only because a hot woman that can't find a guy is like a sports car nobody wants; it either cost too much to keep or something really major is wrong with it!